Jones Custom Car Design

SDOTM - February 2010

The "SDOTM Takes A Back Seat" Edition

I apologize to those of you who've been reading these since before the blog days as this is a re-run. My son was born this month and I couldn't be more proud. As you might imagine, spare time has gone from sparse to microscopic and I've let my ramblings slide. I wouldn't expect much next month either. But just because these cars are long since off the market, that doesn't mean they're not Screamin' Deals. Enjoy (again).

62 Buick

The last thing I need is another 18' of Buick in my driveway but $3500 is dangerously cheap. And nailheads can be made to rock and roll. They can also be a little bit country.

69 Pontiac

My first memory as a child is of the car across the street from our Stratford home. Scout's honour. This one's a dead-ringer and tugs at my heartstrings but I need 18' of Pontiac like I need another 18' of Buick.

92 Nissan 240

This is getting pretty pricey for an S13 but if it's as rust-free as it looks and as fully-loaded as it sounds (meaning it includes a limited slip diff), it might be worth the effort of swapping in a 5-speed. If you'd like to be removed from the 240 fanboi club mailing list, please click this link: Buy one or shut up, Jones.

93 Lincoln

Rear wheel drive, fully independent suspension, 4.6 modular V8 and a body like a suppository. I actually like the shape and it's finished in a nice shade of "don't look at me, officer" charcoal gray. The tasteful 18's don't hurt either. It needs a supercharger but I'd rock it. Gold chains and pinky ring not included.

87 RX7

The FC chassis is the Jan Brady of the RX7 family and is pretty damn ghastly in red (in my opinion). This is the unfortunately-styled middle sister between the cute and playful FB and the wet dream-inducing FD. But in this case Jan is looking pretty dateable. Money was spent on good parts, not rice. A quick rip around the block would probably pry open any gearhead's checkbook but bring earplugs; a ported rotary with a T04 and a Racing Beat exhaust would create a Marsha-worthy scream capable of rupturing an eardrum.

The Somewhat Grown Up Edition

Let's pretend for a moment that I've matured past my redneck adolescence and I'm able to spend more on my next car than some people do on lunch.

A budget between $10,000 and $15,000 may stretch the definition of a "screamin' deal" but this list contains some legendary, even near-supercar rides for less coin than a used Camry. Not that I've been pricing Camrys. I'm mature, not dead inside.

E36 M3 for $12,500

E36 M3s are the sh!t, just ask anyone on grassrootsmotorsports.com. This generation made decent horsepower and hadn't yet gone all Kirstie Alley at the technology and safety buffet. It's arguably the purist of the breed. As a bonus, it's now old enough that owners are considered connoisseurs, not (in Jeremey Clarkson's words) cocks.

MKIV Supra for $13,900

People who've brought over right-hand drive vehicles like the 2JZGTE-equipped Supra from Japan recently got a dose of surprise buttsecks from their insurance adjusters. Luckily this one is left-hand drive but I'd still have to bend over for driving a 300hp, twin-turbo, 17 year old supercar. A JDM import might have less rust, lower mileage and more rigorous maintenance regulations to follow than the North American example but the UCDA managed to convince the guvment that right-hand-drive vehicles are death traps, using highly questionable "data" and "research". If I sound bitter, it's because I am. So many legendary cars were available for import but now that door is pretty much sealed shut unless you're willing to be State Farm's bitch.

2004 G35 sedan for $13,500

"Legendary" and "supercar" probably aren't terms that spring to mind as you contemplate the awkward beak on this sales-guy special but allow me to justify in coma-inducing detail. Let's get one thing out of the way first; the Nurburgring-spanking R35 GTR techno-wonder is not the first Skyline that Nissan has allowed to grace our shores. The Infiniti G35 is the North American version of the Japanese market V35 Skyline. So why no hype? Because unlike it's predecessors (R32, R33 and R34), the V35 is barely a Skyline itself (hence the V): no turbo option, no RB series inline 6, no GTR model. What it does have is the fantastic VQ35 V6, rear wheel drive, a manual transmission option and a front-midship (FM) layout. Yes, you read that right; the G, even in sedan form, is technically a mid-engined sports car (albeit a portly one) with near perfect weight distribution. Pay attention, this stuff is important.

2002 IS300 for $14,750

Similar to the G-unit above, a supercar this ain't. However, it's a well-built ride with rear wheel drive, three pedals on the floor and a 215 hp naturally aspirated 2JZ (which shares much of it's short block with the legendary Supra motor). Boost it to 300 hp + without fear. The motor can support more but the stock transmission will scatter bits of Lexus all over the track at anything above 350 hp. Check them gangsta rims.

2004 RX-8 GT for $13,900

With a name like Felix Wankel, you can bet the inventor of the rotary engine got daily wedgies in high school but who's laughing now? The poetically simple two-rotor 1.3 litre motor may be a little down on torque but horsepower is around 240. It so happily spins to it's 9000 rpm redline that all RX-8s come equipped with a shift alarm that buzzes (loudly) as the danger zone approaches. Handling, not power, is the real trouser-tenter with this platform anyway. Car&Driver called it a 4-door Lotus Elise. As a side note, an RX-8 was the 2010 Grand Am Rolex 24 Hours of Daytona GT class winner. Sure that was a three-rotor, tube-framed special but this one comes with the extended factory warranty.

2000 Audi S4 for $12,500

This particular B5 bi-turbo sounds like it's been ridden hard and put away wet but with the maintenance up to date and fresh turbos installed, it's probably back to it's original performance capabilities. 0-60 in five and a half seconds made it one of the fastest sedans in the world at the turn of the millennium. Assuming the maintenance records are there, $12,500 seems like a deal. However, I'd want the Avant (wagon) version, so my redneck adolescence lives to see another day.